how do I appear to be well-read when I'm actually not?

Well, you asked just the right guy -- this skill is a vital part of my Northwestern education.

No, seriously, I recently auditioned to be an SAT instructor and was asked to give a 5-minute presentation on a topic from a list of suggestions. I chose this one, and provided a handout for my "students." Since I put some time into it, I figured I would reprint it here:

Basic tips

• Use active listening: eye contact, nodding at title or author, use encouraging words and expressions.
• Repeat the author’s name, title, subject or other detail.
• Use empty adjectives to describe the author: profound, engaging, riveting, fascinating, well-written, haunting, intriguing, etc.
• Ask questions that assume that you’ve read the book: “How far are you?” “Do you like it so far?” “How do you think it compares with his earlier work?” “Have you got to the end yet?” “What part was your favorite?”
• Build on information you’ve received to develop further questions: “Why do you think that?”

Some rules to remember

• The main reason to appear to be well-read is to gain information from people who actually are and deal with people who are faking. Most people have never read (much less understood) the books they talk about. But you may have to appear to be well-read in order to discover their opinions and attitudes, or simply to keep them talking. But remember, actual reading is always best.
• Never admit to reading anything that you would actually enjoy. Strictly off-limits: adventure novels, science fiction, romances, humor books, sports books, food books, celebrity biographies. If someone does admit to reading any of these things, they are an honest person and you should talk to them whenever possible.
• Never mess with an expert – if someone clearly knows everything about an author or topic, create the impression that you’ve read one or two books on the topic, then keep them talking so you can reference them in the future. “Well, I was talking with Professor Smith about this book, and he said…”

If you’re cornered…

• You can say you haven’t gotten to the book because in the middle of a very large volume that no one ever intends to read. Ex.: “Well, I haven’t actually gotten very far in that one yet, because I’m right in the middle of Finnegan’s Wake, and you know how that goes.” Something hopelessly obscure will do as well.
• If you think you cannot fake knowledge of an entire topic, always be ready to bring up a book you have previously read, discussed or heard about. If it is vitally important to discuss the book at hand, say you’ve read a review of it. Never change the topic away from books.
• “It had a certain… je ne sais quoi.” This French phrase literally means, “I don’t know what.” You can use it completely honestly and score points with snobs for speaking French.
• “It reminded me of… hmm… the Greeks had a word for it, didn’t they?” Fear not, the Greeks had a word for everything, and no one remembers any of them.